i hate when a teacher is genuinely funny and i’m the only one in the entire classroom that laughs at their jokes since everybody i go to school with are distasteful heathens
(via shadowsonthesidewalk)
Television: In the criminal justice system--
Me: SEXUALLY-BASED OFFENSES ARE CONSIDERED ESPECIALLY HEINOUS. IN NEW YORK CITY, THE DEDICATED DETECTIVES WHO INVESTIGATE THESE VICIOUS FELONIES ARE MEMBERS OF AN ELITE SQUAD KNOWN AS THE SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT. THESE ARE THEIR STORIES. DUN DUN.
why do we call periods “periods” when we can call them something cooler like “bloodstain fever”
or ”the crimson horror”
are u guys okay
(via theperksofbeingseamus)
I don’t know bout y’all, but the Yahoo staff are fucking HILARIOUS
We are not fucking HILARIOUS
HILARIOUS COME HERE AND TELL THEM THAT WE ARE NOT FUCKING
theyahoostaff and i are just friends gOD
(via shadowsonthesidewalk)
Fan: What's a secret about you that no one else knows?
Ed Sheeran: I had a really, really, really bad stutter when I was little. I had a birthmark on my eye and they had to laser it off and they didn't use anesthetics so it like messed up with my nervous system and stuff. I had a really heavy stutter so I'd be talking like this- and I've still got like hints of it but- erm I'd be talking like this and literally not be able to get words out. PLUS I had quite bad eye sight so I had big, blue NHS specs. PLUS I was ginger. PLUS I didn't have a growth spurt until quite late on so I was very small. So from the age of 6 to about 11- OH and I erm had a perforated eardrum so I had to wear this weird kinda hat.
Radio Station Interviewer: How did you become a musician?!
Ed Sheeran: Well this is the thing, this is what I wondered. From the age of 6 to 11 no one would want to hang with that kind of kid.. that was weird.
Ed Sheeran: So I think God looked down and said I think you need some help getting laid. Here's a guitar.
